Dating Someone With Bipolar Disorder

I recently read an article titled “What It’s Like To Date Someone Who Is Bipolar”. It was from Rebel Circus. They had other Mental Health articles that I did not read after reading this one. If the World actually believes half of this crap it’s no wonder I choose to be single. I thought the article was damaging, offensive, and feeds into the stigma of Bipolar Disorder. Here are some of their key points.

• Bipolar people are erratic.
• It takes a lot of time and energy for a Bipolar person to keep their conditions under control.
• When manic their inability to sleep can disrupt your life. You may wake up in the middle of the night and wonder where they are.
• Their ups and downs will encourage compassion in you and make you want to be a better person. (So glad I could help)
• We need to be kept occupied and interested because we get bored easily.
• Bipolar people easily lose their sense of judgment.
• It’s essential for them to have a significant other that can keep them in line. (WTF)

I don’t know about anyone else but I find all of this to be condescending, ignorant, and stigma inducing.

I agree that I can be erratic at times. I don’t think I need anyone to “keep me in line”. As far as I know I do not sleepwalk or take off in the middle of the night like a vampire. I don’t need anyone to “keep me occupied”. If you have to constantly worry about keeping your Bipolar significant other occupied and interested so they stay with you, there might be other issues in the relationship. No one in my life has become a “better person or more compassionate” because of my Bipolar Disorder. Some of them became the opposite.

I have never been in a “real” relationship. I choose to be single at this point because I am not stable and have physical health problems. I still have not found a way to meet someone that doesn’t involve a bar or online. My anxiety and fear of some men make it harder. These are issues I have to work on. Until I’m physically healthy I can’t.

It’s been almost 5 years since I was diagnosed. My situation is getting worse not better. A total of 30 years dealing with this has taken it’s toll. Never having the answers you want or need is frustrating. Being alone is hard. But if I’m not at my healthiest mentally or physically it isn’t fair to either person. Sometimes I’m afraid I will never be healthy enough to try for a healthy relationship. I wonder if I will always feel unworthy of one. These are things I have to figure out before moving forward.

This article really doesn’t help anyone. Hopefully not too many people without real knowledge of Bipolar Disorder will read it and take it seriously. It’s discouraging and sad.

I’m going to focus on getting as healthy as I can and do what’s right for me. I have to learn to ignore the negative press, comments, and people who are not good for me. I also have to try to let some things go. It’s like banging my head against a wall for years. The same arguments over and over. If you can’t handle me or don’t like me the way I am, that’s your issue. I’m doing the best I can right now. That will have to be enough.

If you see me wandering around in the middle of the night please leave me alone. I like the night. You meet some of the more fascinating people in the dark. They don’t try to keep me in line.