For Doctors Everywhere

When your kidneys are failing there are some symptoms that are often overlooked. Confusion, depression, an overall change in personality. That wonderful person people once knew now snaps at everyone and everything. When you also have a patient with Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety, Conversion Disorder and Celiac Disease it can make treatment 10 times harder. Specifically if you as the Doctor do not look at the patient’s history and are unaware of these previous diagnoses.

It is especially hard on the patient who is under the assumption that you do know all of these things.

When I find myself in a physician’s office saying “sorry” for the 100th time because I’m upset, confused and angry it does no one any good. When I think of actually NOT doing any life saving measures because I was just humiliated there is something incredibly wrong with the system.

Because I took up extra time, asked questions, and did NOT want to have procedures done at 1 specific hospital, I was told fine. Find other doctors, BUT if you want to LIVE than you will go along to get along, otherwise I can’t help you. Next patient please.

When I left the office and made it to my car I slumped to the pavement. I am 5’6″ tall and now weigh 127pounds. Because my kidneys failed and they don’t know why. I sat on the ground and cried waiting for someone to save me. There was no one to call. No one to help. Thoughts just spun in my head. I was scared.

Doctors need to get on the same page with treatment. Not just the treatment of the mind but the body also. I’m tired of apologizing for who I am at every appointment, scared the doctor won’t treat me because they find me difficult.

I loathed begging that little man to treat me, saying sorry over and over. At one point asking him not to hate me. All because I didn’t want to be treated at a hospital with no running water, no bathroom in the rooms, that forgot to start my IV for a day and had the people that did visit me wonder if they were in a third world country.

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