CONVERSION DISORDER~ FACT OR FICTION?

Scientist/Researchers now know that Conversion Disorder is a rare Psychological Condition.

It occurs when your brain is unable to handle emotional or physical trauma. The only way your brain is able to cope is by manifesting these emotions into physical symptoms.

A doctor can’t properly diagnose you with Conversion Disorder without doing extensive Neurological and Psychological testing. This also includes a brain scan. Depending on your symptoms an underlying illness has to be ruled out.

I know this all too well. I went through all of it. At first I was told it was possible I had MS. Then I was told it could be Parkinson’s. Essential Tremors were brought up also. I was unsteady at times when I walked. I would lose my balance easily.

I felt extreme pressure to assure my family I wasn’t drinking because I wasn’t looking too believable. I kept asking them to smell my breath. It wasn’t a fun time. Trying to sign my name on a credit card slip or at work was becoming harder and harder. It got to the point where keeping food on a spoon or fork was impossible. Then came the stuttering.

I was not working by then. I felt embarrassed and as usual like the outcast. The one everyone laughed at. And some did. There are people in this world that still think it is ok to make fun of someone who stutters by imitating them. I’m talking about adults. I secluded myself once again, only leaving to go to doctor’s appointments.

I was finally referred to a group of Neurologists and Psychologists that worked with my Psychiatrist. The two Neurologists specialized in Movement Disorders and were published Doctors on the topic of Conversion Disorder. This is why my Psychiatrist wanted me to see them.

As I have written before the visit didn’t go well. I was diagnosed with Conversion Disorder but the Doctor was so excited to have a confirmed case with obvious symptoms he wasn’t thinking of the actual human sitting in front of him.

It’s almost harder to hear that you have something you really don’t want to deal with in your mind. I know the things that I’ve done and that have happened to me. What the hell could be worse? I didn’t know if I wanted that information. I still don’t.

Some people with Conversion Disorder bet better as soon as they hear they are not physically ill. People like me have a harder time because we also have a mental illness (Bipolar Disorder) and Alcohol addiction. This makes it harder to treat. In most cases where there are other issues the person will usually continue to have symptoms.

Symptoms can range from:

• Paralysis
• Seizures
• Stuttering
• Loss of Coordination
• Tremors
• Abnormal Muscle Movement
• Temporary Blindness
• Inability to speak or a lump in the throat

For some reason people that have tremors or seizures not caused by Epilepsy have the hardest time finding relief from Conversion Disorder.

There are only 14 to 20 “true” cases per 100,000 people of Conversion Disorder. To me it doesn’t sound that rare. But I live with it so what do I know?