Sometimes I find relief from my Depression (it’s sometimes more than depression I just can’t explain it) in the strangest places or ways.
I love music so that’s always been a favorite but the one thing that makes me truly happy is sharing a song with another person and having love and understand it just as much as I do!
My mom was always the music person. My dad knew the music only because she played it all the time. I spend a lot of time with my dad. He takes care of me and I take care of him. Years ago I started to play certain songs for him that I thought he might like. One of the first was Johnny Cash’s version “Hurt”. My father would sit mesmerized by every word and image on the screen. He would make me play it for him over and over. The first few times I watched him trying to control his emotions. My mom had passed away not long before and I know he was thinking about the past and their lives together. It was good for him because he has such a hard time showing emotion. It wasn’t good for me. Watching him broke my heart, I would hide in the bathroom until it was over.
Some music he loved, some he didn’t. I recently played “Lost Prayer”, “Sleeping Dogs”, and “In This River” by Zakk Wylde for him. I told him before I started the videos that Zakk Wylde had been Ozzy Osbourne’s guitar player for many year’s, had a side band Black Label Society, and solo material. I also told him a very edited version of when I met Zakk Wylde and his wife Barbaranne at a show. My mother was still in the Hospital after having one of her lungs removed. They had just taken her out of the medically induced coma she had been in for almost 30 days.
At first I didn’t know who the woman was I was babbling too. It was years ago and I was drinking heavily. I knew she was pretty, caring, and really listened. I was introduced to her daughter. Anyway, I spent some time with Mr. Wylde’s wife and daughter and eventually my pickled brain figured out who they were. I met Zakk Wylde and was on their bus, they were all nicer than they had to be considering I was wasted and probably annoying as hell. But I’ll never forget the kindness that I needed so much at that time. I couldn’t lean on my friends at the time because most of them were from work, also none of them had gone through what I was going through at the time. It had taken a toll having to change my mom’s diapers and bedding because the staff was too busy or didn’t care, then working 45-50 hours a week. I was toast.
My 73 year old father listened to each song with as much attention as he’s capable of. lol When he had heard all 3 he looked at me and said “Why the hell was this guy playing guitar for Ozzy for so long with a voice like that? It has so much emotion and depth to it”. At this point I made fun of him for when he watched too much American Idol. But I completely agreed.
Something else that brings me happiness is finding beautiful art I didn’t know about. Hand blown glass is extremely complex. Dale Chihuly is a master at his craft. If you’ve been to the Bellagio in Vegas then you’ve seen his glasswork.
I also love when someone unexpectedly messages me that they wore one of my pieces of jewelry and received a ton of compliments! It was to an expensive Charity Event with many people so I was excited and inspired. This is the necklace that was worn. I didn’t remember making it! lol