NIGHT NOISES

My psychiatrist is a nice man and I’ve had 2nd and 3rd opinions on my diagnoses which he encouraged, but sometimes I wonder if he stays up to date.

He suggested trying medical marijuana to possibly wean me off the Klonopin and sleep aid I take every night. We’re trying to save as much of my kidney function as possible so I don’t have to go on dialysis like my Dad. I miss him.

The doctor said he doesn’t have a license to “prescribe” medical marijuana but he thinks it would help me immensely!

You don’t need a special license to prescribe it, the doctor just has to verify that you actually have one of the qualifying conditions that would benefit from it’s use. I only found this out recently.

In the meantime, my sister has a license for it and I tried what she gets for anxiety at night. I think it’s the first time I’ve slept that good in years.

Of course, all good things must come to an end. We had another argument where she tells me I never take responsibility for anything and I’m cut off. I was ok until my Dad died.

I did the worst thing and asked my brother. He was nice and just gave it to me lol nothing with him is free. I started hearing things. Now I don’t know if I’m hearing voices and noises because of my Dad dying, the pot, or who knows what?(THC can cause auditory hallucinations and I don’t think it’s in much of the medical marijuana)

I haven’t processed my Dad’s death at all. It’s in a little blue box shoved far, far, in the back of my mind.

I just keep hoping I get to live near my Aunt for a little while. I love the area where she lives, I get along with my cousins, I love the weather, my Aunt is like my Mom, filled with love and laughter. They were sisters and best friends, imagine that!

I’ve been wanting to write more I’ve just been too tired. I had to postpone my kidney surgery by 3 and a half months so I start to feel like a giant slug. I’m good with it, I got to have extra time with my Dad.

 

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About darie73

I have lived with Bipolar Disorder since my early teens. I have lived with Social Anxiety Disorder for even longer. I self-medicated with alcohol for over 20 years, that's how long it took to get a diagnosis. I'm open and honest about my mental health so hopefully one day the system will change. View all posts by darie73

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