WHEN YOUR SUICIDE ATTEMPTS ARE JUDGED

My talked to me today. She told me her husband’s band is having a record release party on the 20th. Of course I wasn’t invited. Then she told me the lead singer’s son shot himself in the head and is in a coma. He is 19. He was being evaluated by a Psychiatrist but they weren’t sure of his diagnosis.

My sister went on to say how she feels worse for people like him who “really” mean it when they try to kill themselves. I took this as her saying she really didn’t feel empathy or sympathy for me because I my attempts weren’t serious enough. 

I only have ugly scars and some issues with stomach from having it pumped a couple of times. I’m not sure if the charcoal times did any damage. My left pinkie and the finger next to it are numb a lot from nerve damage I caused but none of that counts I guess.

Would she have understood better if I had used a gun or a rope? Would she have loved me more when she thought of me than she does now?

I don’t know. I’m also beginning to not care what she feels or anyone else feels. It’s time to think of how I feel for a change. What makes me happy?

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About darie73

I'm a daughter, a sister, and an Aunt. I've worked in the Hair Industry, Jewelry Manufacturing, and Retail Management. I'm also an Alcoholic, diagnosed Bipolar, Conversion Disorder, Anxiety, Celiac Disease, and other health issues. I talk about all of these things as honestly as I can. The stigma, medications, doctors, family problems, support or lack of support. I advocate for people like me, animals, and anyone else who feels like they don't have a voice. These are my opinions, I just ask that readers be respectful. Haven't we all been kicked enough when we are down? It's time to change that. View all posts by darie73

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