I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE GOVERNMENT FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Today I have received four phone calls informing me that my Social Security Number is once again suspended. If you read my previous post you know this has happened before and I reported it to three different agencies. The man threatened to send prostitutes to my house using my name online, open false bank accounts and buy weapons, and open credit cards. I admit I didn’t take it well when he got to the weapons part. I informed him he wouldn’t get far buying weapons with my Social Security number because I’m Mentally Ill and have bad credit. What I do have is a certificate in crazy and a brother who works in the Government and would be happy to track his ass down in India so I can visit. I also have a close friend who lived with a specific religious sect that would gladly help also. I admit I felt threatened and backed into a corner.

When I feel like this I either lash out or crawl so far into myself it takes days or weeks to come out. This time I lashed out.

Needless to say the Government did nothing. I’m not really surprised. I gave them the phone number, the names used, everything that was said and they didn’t ask for any of it!

So now I start getting the phone calls again only this time I just don’t care. I feel kind of done. I’m tired of being yelled at or ignored. I’m tired of apologizing for my existence, what I’ve said, didn’t say, what I’ve done or didn’t do. It’s constant, this need to say “I’m sorry” all the time.

It makes me feel weak and pathetic. Feelings I dislike immensely.

Everything has an effect on me, from movies, TV, music, social media, small conversations and other people’s moods. I literally jump when my Dad enters the room and says my name now. I can feel his anxiety and irritability like a fog around me. I start to feel the same and it never ends well.

I’m practically begging people to talk to me or like me. When I was drinking I could’ve cared less who liked me for many years. Now I feel loneliness like a thousand paper cuts healed and done again the next day.

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About darie73

I have lived with Bipolar Disorder since my early teens. I have lived with Social Anxiety Disorder for even longer. I self-medicated with alcohol for over 20 years, that's how long it took to get a diagnosis. I'm open and honest about my mental health so hopefully one day the system will change. View all posts by darie73

8 responses to “I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE GOVERNMENT FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

  • manyofus1980

    i know the loneliness. its tough. i hate it and hate having to deal with it. i am here, i will be your friend, i support you and am rooting for you. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    • darie73

      I love reading responses but not when someone is pushing me or trying to make me understand their belief in a “Bigger Picture” or “Universal Understanding” where “I” means everyone is me and I’m everyone. It’s “Dead Head” thinking like you’ve had too many mushrooms. Everything flows in the same path so you shouldn’t hate anyone. I find it insulting and unproductive but the person has many followers. My brain started to smoke reading 1 sentence I could hardly understand it. I don’t know why it bothers me.

      Like

  • ToadieOdie

    I don’t understand why our government did nothing about your SSN considering all the shit that’s going on right now with hackers. 😦 Someone hacked one of the big three credit agencies recently and gained access to many people’s names and numbers. You’d think that they would want to investigate your claim.

    Liked by 1 person

    • darie73

      You would think so but none of the agencies responded and the 1 human I talked to said I had to fill out a form. I did. The form didn’t ask for the number that called but I gave it anyway. Doesn’t matter they called 3 more times today. I didn’t recognize the number the last time it was a cell phone so I picked up. When they asked for me I said “Sorry, she passed away.” The guy started to say “You still have to pay” I said “Nope. She’s dead. Goodbye.” Technically it’s true because they asked for Mrs. C & that was my mom who has passed away. Then I remembered Medicare had a problem and my mom was on Medicare before she passed away so I started to get upset. But there isn’t much I can do now.

      Like

    • ToadieOdie

      If she’s dead though, what can they do about it? Medicare wouldn’t be calling on a mobile line for one and two who the hell are they supposed to collect from?

      Liked by 1 person

    • darie73

      That’s the scam if they get an elderly person who doesn’t understand this and is afraid they will pay the money these people ask for to not use their or a loved one’s info. They don’t realize it’s a scam. That’s the problem.

      Like

    • ToadieOdie

      Ugh, that’s awful. >.< Why must people be like that?

      Liked by 1 person

    • darie73

      Because they’re people. People are the cruelest living things on this planet.

      Liked by 1 person

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