MISINTERPRETATIONS, DISTORTION, DEPENDENT PERSONALITY AND EXPRESSED EMOTION

I do have a habit of overthinking many comments and conversations. This always leads to trouble. I also will ask a question I already know the answer to just to try to fit in and engage in conversation. Recently this backfired on me and I lost my temper.

I should’ve known I would get negative responses I was on Twitter. They were having a hashtag ask a question day and I asked about cutting my dog’s nails because he panics so much I was afraid he would hurt himself.

This set off a firestorm of people telling me that I was “torturing my poor animal” and other similar not as nice things. At first I was going to let it go but then on organization kept sending me Tweets saying “STOP HURTING YOUR ANIMALS!” and I lost it.

I know how to cut his nails and that he has to be sedated. I also know the correct medications and dosages for every size dog. I know how to do CPR on animals and have done so on several dogs. I have used a tiny hypodermic needle to inoculate up to 200 birds from disease. The injection has to go into a specific area or they bleed too much and won’t be inoculated. I helped hand raise Endangered Bird Species feeding them with an eye dropper every half hour so they could later go to a special program at the Bronx Zoo. But I played dumb because I have no one to talk to, it was a bad day and I wasn’t thinking clearly.

On Instagram I commented on something where I thought the person was making fun of someone for stuttering. They were not and I completely misread the entire situation and became defensive. Now I feel embarrassment and shame. Two feelings I hate to feel the most.

I need more help than the Professionals in R.I., MA, and CT have been able to give me. When they have all decided there is nothing left to be done I’m not sure how long I can live with that. How long could you live with knowing the people you love can’t be around you? How long could you go on with nothing but your own voice to listen to, no human contact for many years, nothing to look forward to, no purpose?

I had to leave the house the other day for food. Unfortunately someone from High School recognized me. First Question: “How are you, are you married?” Second Question: “Do you have any kids?” Third Question: “What are you doing for work, where do you live?” yes they were jumbled in like that. How can you tell someone that you’ve never even been on an actual date or been alone with a man in 9 years? How do you tell them that for some unknown reason you stopped getting your period at 36 and will never have children? How do you tell them that you don’t work because you have several mental illnesses but please don’t be afraid? And the last on, I never left home and I still live with my Dad.

I went home and went to bed. Sometimes it’s too much.

DISTORTION: Altering perception of upsetting reality to be more acceptable.

DEPENDENT PERSONALITY DISORDER: Helplessness, excessive need to be taken care of, submissive and clingy behavior, difficulty in making decisions.

EXPRESSED EMOTION: Hostility, criticism demonstrated by some families toward a family member with a Psychological Disorder.30194987565ee667cf813de17cc6c667      Most of the time I find things like this that explain what I feel or want to say better than I can.

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About darie73

I'm a daughter, a sister, and an Aunt. I've worked in the Hair Industry, Jewelry Manufacturing, and Retail Management. I'm also an Alcoholic, diagnosed Bipolar, Conversion Disorder, Anxiety, Celiac Disease, and other health issues. I talk about all of these things as honestly as I can. The stigma, medications, doctors, family problems, support or lack of support. I advocate for people like me, animals, and anyone else who feels like they don't have a voice. These are my opinions, I just ask that readers be respectful. Haven't we all been kicked enough when we are down? It's time to change that. View all posts by darie73

3 responses to “MISINTERPRETATIONS, DISTORTION, DEPENDENT PERSONALITY AND EXPRESSED EMOTION

  • manyofus1980

    agreed. its all too much. hugs for you my friend. you can do this but I am sorry this high school friend said those things to you. hard hard stuff to try to deal with and answer. sending support xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  • someonelikeme752

    I must say that I haven’t read many of your posts, I plan to spend time doing so shortly. But I am wondering if you have tried a partial program?

    I went to one in RI and was very impressed. It exceeded my expectations in every way. The doctors were all more than competent and they take a holistic team-oriented approach to treatment… They even have specific tracks, like trauma, that focus on education as much as implementing various treatments. The program I was in is the first trauma track of its kind in RI and it is incredible.

    Liked by 1 person

    • darie73

      I’m curious to know which one in R.I. I’ve been in Butler several times, had ECT at Roger Williams Hospital, did several partial programs in Wakefield, R.I. and when Kent County had an Inpatient Program. So I’m open to anything I may have missed. I also spent time with Dr. Friedman who is the Head of Movement Disorders at Butler and specializes in Conversion Disorder and is a Neuro-Psychiatrist I’m tired just thinking of all the places and specialists I’ve been to. lol

      Like

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