INSECURE CONFUSION ISOLATION PAIN REGRET OUTCAST FEAR

Most people know that music has been a part of my life since before I was born. It started with Elvis then went to Black Sabbath, AC/DC, Meatloaf, Super Tramp, everything my brother listened to, then what I learned to like on my own. I love lyrics. This is probably why I never really liked Led Zeppelin and some other groups that did long drum or guitar solos.

People in my life don’t understand why I get so worked up over the death of someone I didn’t know or comments made about the death of someone I didn’t know.

It’s because a large majority of people in the music industry (up to 70%) have a mental health/addiction problem. People who are bipolar have a tendency to be drawn to music, language, and alcohol. The research also shows that people who are bipolar are generally more intelligent. (I’m not just saying this because I’m bipolar)

When I listen to music I hear the lyrics first. Some lyrics are why I love the bands I do. I have songs I listen to when I want to feel good about myself and songs for when I’m down. But you’ll never know the feeling of hearing a song that describes you to a T when you don’t even know what’s wrong with you. All you can do is sit and cry because you realize you aren’t the only one. You’re in your early 30’s and you finally find someone who is singing your life and you’re not alone. That band was Blue October. I want to thank them for the song “Hate Me” which is so much like my mother and I. All I could do is sit there and sob. It started a slow change in me. I’m a work in progress that I probably won’t get to finish.

I’m leaning towards taking that road trip because I need to do something an adult would do. I need to see new things, meet new people (within reason). My best friend W said I should go for it and she has a degree in Psychology but works for the Post Office because it pays better. lol

So I’m thinking, making lists, thinking, making lists, and maybe I’ll actually get in the car and go.

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About darie73

I'm a daughter, a sister, and an Aunt. I've worked in the Hair Industry, Jewelry Manufacturing, and Retail Management. I'm also an Alcoholic, diagnosed Bipolar, Conversion Disorder, Anxiety, Celiac Disease, and other health issues. I talk about all of these things as honestly as I can. The stigma, medications, doctors, family problems, support or lack of support. I advocate for people like me, animals, and anyone else who feels like they don't have a voice. These are my opinions, I just ask that readers be respectful. Haven't we all been kicked enough when we are down? It's time to change that. View all posts by darie73

3 responses to “INSECURE CONFUSION ISOLATION PAIN REGRET OUTCAST FEAR

  • manyofus1980

    blue october rock! I love there music. I hope you go! I really hope you can. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • darie73

      Justin Furstenfeld followed me on Twitter when I first started years ago. I closed that account awhile ago. They’ve been doing small shows and I know Justin recently was going through a manic/depressive episode I spotted it early on before he said anything. His Faith and Religion are important and that’s fine but I wish people who are mentally ill and in the public eye wouldn’t answer questions about medication one way or the other it causes so many problems. Sorry of I sound rude I’m not doing that well myself. I’m just someone who believes in Science not necessarily man made medications but science, research and facts. I have something coming up on Dissociative Disorders and Somatoform Disorders considering I have a Somatoform Disorder that interferes with my life in a huge way. Sorry for rambling, I’m not feeling well. Thank you for reading I appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

    • manyofus1980

      You are not being rude. I actually don’t like medication all that much myself either. I prefer not to take them, I do, but I prefer not to have to take them. I prefer research to and learning about disorders by researching them and learning about trauma and science et cetera. I’m sorry you’re not doing well sending you lots of hugs XXX

      Liked by 1 person

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