Yesterday I made a last minute appointment with my psychiatrist. I wanted to get it over with in case I decide to take a road trip. Nothing has changed much. I still have bad days and some kind of ok days. I have been able to see some things a little differently and try to change how I react to them. I’ve done this on my own.
I asked him how long I’ve been on Klonopin. I asked because of recent comments or opinions about people with addiction issues and mental illness taking meds like Klonopin.
I’ve been on it for years at the same dose.
From an early age severe anxiety kept me from doing many things. I couldn’t tell you the amount of times I was dry heaving in a toilet before school or if I knew I had to deal with a social situation.
I can tell you I had an ulcer by 18 and scarring of my esophagus. The constant feeling of something bad is going to happen, embarrass myself or be ridiculed was excruciating to live with.
One of the many reasons I used alcohol not realizing I was making the anxiety worse.
I didn’t have to go through that for as long as I did. I’ve never ran out of my meds early or Doctor shopped. I never wanted to risk losing the option or access to that medication.
My psychiatrist wanted to know why I was asking. I mentioned Dr. Drew specifically and the response I received made me laugh.
The response? “You do know he’s only an Internist, he isn’t a licensed psychiatrist or psychologist”.
I was so relieved to hear him say this. He also said that he wasn’t happy about Dr. Drew diagnosing people he’s never met.
He said he thought I was doing as well as I could be considering all the obstacles I have.
He also encouraged me to keep blogging if no one reads because it’s an outlet and I can go back and reflect on what I was feeling at the time.
So I’ll keep him for now.