I took my first drink because I was afraid to talk to people. I wanted to be sociable. I wanted people to like me. I soon became argumentative and obnoxious. Slurring my speech didn’t help either.
I drank because it made me feel happy and numb. Until it didn’t anymore and I found myself on top of someone’s roof, bleeding from my arms, taking bottles of pills.
I drank to keep the friends I had. They wound up as enemies and one almost killed me.
I drank to make the butterflies in my stomach go away and would end up with the shakes by 5:00 p.m. the next day.
I drank for liquid courage and was scared when I started to vomit blood and couldn’t remember large portions of the night before.
I drank and I drank because drinking is great.
You lose your money, dignity, self worth, job, friends, family, health, but who needs those things?
Turns out I did. More than I could ever know.
If stopping were easy we wouldn’t have movies and books about it. You might mess up a few times along the way. It’s a journey not a destination. It’s also a disease that can come back at anytime. It’s why I think of myself as in Remission so IF I HAPPEN TO FALL I CAN GET BACK UP.
There’s no place for GUILT or SHAME. These feelings that other’s will put on you will be your downfall. They are not the ones going through this, you are. Do what’s best for you!
If you’re being forced into not drinking it will never work. Ask the 3 Judges that forced me. I did my time and went right back to drinking. Never gave it a second thought.
Until you’re ready, you won’t.