YOU DO KNOW THAT PEOPLE DON’T REALLY LIKE YOU, RIGHT?

For some strange unknown reason, I have heard this or something similar, from more than one person in 43  years. This includes my twin sister.

I was either too quiet and made it difficult for people to start a conversation with. Or I was too loud and obnoxious for some people.

There were times when I would witness someone do something I didn’t like when I was sober. When I saw that same person while I was drunk I could be sharp, sarcastic, and cruel. I became hardened to almost everything. If a “feeling” happened, I drank it away. Eventually you can only swallow so many feelings before you’re full. Then what happens? You break down little by little or all at once.

I knew the people who used me for money, sex, a car ride, booze, whatever. I also knew who didn’t. But there were some that I was good at fooling myself about. I knew, but chose to block it out. I regret this to a point.

There are still many people who don’t like me for one reason or another. I spend most of my time alone. But all anyone has to do is see or hear a few key words and their minds are made up.

I won’t lie. I can be touchy about certain things. If anyone says or does anything to my dad I will get angry. Same goes for my sister and my nephews. If someone wants to come at me about specific subjects without even trying to see both sides, than I have no use or pity for you. So I’m probably not easy to be around all the time. Who is?

I can’t stop thinking about a few people that were always there for me and are not now. The only person that has ever held me hurt me the most. I have not talked to or seen him in many years. The only person who has said she loves me no matter what besides my mom, is never around.

So what does like have to do with it? Where does it leave you?

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About darie73

I'm a daughter, a sister, and an Aunt. I've worked in the Hair Industry, Jewelry Manufacturing, and Retail Management. I'm also an Alcoholic, diagnosed Bipolar, Conversion Disorder, Anxiety, Celiac Disease, and other health issues. I talk about all of these things as honestly as I can. The stigma, medications, doctors, family problems, support or lack of support. I advocate for people like me, animals, and anyone else who feels like they don't have a voice. These are my opinions, I just ask that readers be respectful. Haven't we all been kicked enough when we are down? It's time to change that. View all posts by darie73

5 responses to “YOU DO KNOW THAT PEOPLE DON’T REALLY LIKE YOU, RIGHT?

  • Rob

    I love your honesty. It is painful for those of us who trust little and when we do and get butned, it cuts deep

    Liked by 1 person

    • darie73

      Thank you. It’s hard because people have an idea of who are based on a profile pic or something. It’s why so many find it hard to believe that I drank with mostly ex cons starting at 16/17 & they were all about 7 to 10 years older. So many people think I drank wine coolers at high school parties or drank too much at college. It makes me a tiny bit mad but I also don’t want to dismiss those who started their addiction at sororities or with wine coolers. lol But my life was a little more Sons of Anarchy than anything else. Without the motorcycles because none of them had licenses or cars or money but did have charm and looks. lol

      Liked by 1 person

    • Rob

      Lol cool story. Yeah, you look like you can hang. Loved that show!

      Liked by 1 person

    • darie73

      There’s nothing on anymore that’s similar or worth watching. The only show that came close was Banshee and that’s ended. And Ray Donovan.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Rob

      Good to know I’m not missing much. Haven’t watched tv except for football in 7 months. Too much sitting around drinking and watching tv. No more

      Liked by 1 person

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