I’M ANGRY. I REALLY AM. The Mentally Ill suffer daily for many reasons. The stigma of being Mentally Ill, the loss of friends of family, the loss of work and sense of purpose, the loss of drive to do anything or think. The list goes on.

I can’t tolerate the medication merry go round it takes for a Bipolar patient to find the right combination of drugs to help them feel somewhat like a person. If this ever happens. Almost ALL BIPOLAR MEDICATION LEAVE YOU SEDATED. There are very few that leave you feeling like you actually want to participate in life. The ONLY WAY I have been able to do things like go to Florida is because I take Adderall to counteract the drowsiness of the Viibryd and Topamax I take.

My sister in law forbids me to say the word Adderall. She says it’s a “Vicious drug that leads to nothing but heartbreak”. It wasn’t the Adderall that caused the heartbreak it was my niece. Mental Illness and addiction is practically a given in our family. She had already been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and she was already using Heroine. My ex sister in law chose to blame the Adderall instead of acknowledging the harder stuff. There is no such thing as “Gateway” anything. Addiction comes from some deep routed problem within you. It doesn’t help if your family has a history of it. I don’t believe that one drug or drink leads you to addiction. It has to be in you to begin with.

When I see some of the medications other bloggers are on I’m mortified and pissed. No wonder they feel so horrible. I know these meds because I’ve been on most them myself at one time or another. I’ve never been on two or three of them at once! It would’ve been like Night of The Living Dead. How these poor people even get up to go to the toilet I don’t understand. The over medicated are just as bad as the under medicated.


There’s no shame in it. Just f*cking do it! People are going to eventually die because of this. Either because they can’t find a way out of the darkness they’ve been put in or because they are simply over medicated. Seriously. A patient being prescribed 2 mood stabilizers, 2 antidepressants, and a pinch of ADHD medication? I’m sorry an antidepressant and an antipsychotic they use to sedate people with 2 different stabilizers. I’m officially disgusted.




  1. I did the same thing, I blamed my Adderall that I wasn’t even taking for my psychosis instead of admitting to smoking meth for ever. Now my family hears the word Adderall and thinks it’s what took me out. I have to take it or I won’t function. I do not apologize for what I am prescribed by my doctor of 15 years. I trust him. Nor do I let anyone in NA make me feel as though I am not working a real program. I have over 2 years clean and I WILL NOT COME OFF MY MEDS. Fuck that πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • In my 20 years of drinking and several attempts at sobriety (this last attempt stuck because I did it my way 8 years sober) AA groups upon finding out I was on Antidepressants would either talk to me about going off of them or give me dirty looks. I was undiagnosed Bipolar then. I’m glad I never listened or I probably wouldn’t be here now. Thanks for sharing with me I appreciate it.


    • I wrote a poem I’ll try and send you about that same thing. My family has watch me struggle my whole life go into psychosis 20 years of drug abuse 20 years of selling drugs, you know in and out of treatments and they don’t think I need to be medicated. I’ve posted stories about my terrors of being off meds. I thought MY psychosis was drug related but it’s happened twice clean. I’m not coming off my meds because people in NA think they are bad. So crazy. My count not theirs!πŸ’ŠπŸ’Š
      My boyfriend is actually coming to my next appointment because he says I don’t need to be on them. So I’ll let my doc explain what happens when I stop taking antipsychotics.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Family! My favorite! Sometimes they are a lost cause. They’re too close to the situation to see it for what it is. Mental Illness is huge in my family. My twin sister and I would joke about which one of us would draw the short straw. My parents suspected for years, since my early teens, but were afraid to take me to a Doctor. My mom had worked in a Mental Institution when she was way too young and her brother and sister had both been committed. She didn’t want that for me. They thought I would grow out of it. My sister on the other hand never forgets and never forgives. She likes to give ultimatums about how I handle my own care. I drew the line when she threatened me with not being able to see my nephews anymore. Now I yes her to death and tell her I’ve done everything she’s asked. I keep all of our conversations completely focused on her the way she wants it and so far she’s fine. Unbelievable.

      Liked by 1 person

    • It’s difficult with NA or AA specifically if there are “old timers” in the program. There are usually no Mental Health representatives at these meetings and I think they should set aside 1 meeting a week where there is. Mental Health issues and Addiction go hand in hand for the majority of people. Unfortunately they find out too late. Good luck.


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