bpHOPE IS ABSURD

I’m sorry. I keep getting propaganda from this Magazine or Organization, and I asked them to stop 3 times and they keep sending it. I can not support anyone who encourages Bipolar people to believe they will be CURED by a change in lifestyle and diet. I have also seen them encourage commenters to tell their stories about being healed by Chakras and Healing Sticks! I’ve seen this magazine in Doctor’s offices.

It is scientific fact as of February 2016 that Bipolar Disorder is mostly genetics and sometimes brain deficits. UCLA, UCSF, Costa Rica, and Columbia all participated in this research. MRI studies compared people with Bipolar to those without. Studies showed subtle grey matter loss in the group WITH Bipolar Disorder. 738 people took part in the study. 181 had severe Bipolar Disorder. The MRI also showed irregularities with white matter in Bipolar people.

The loss of grey matter was especially in the brain regions controlling mood regulations.

MY MRI SHOWED A LARGE LOSS OF GREY MATTER AND WHAT LOOKED LIKE A LIGHTNING BOLT IN MY WHITE MATTER. THERE WAS ALSO SWELLING IN ONE AREA OF MY BRAIN WHERE I HAD LOST GREY MATTER. THERE WAS FLUID INSTEAD. I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE FOLLOW UP MRIS BUT NO DOCTOR EVER MENTIONED IT AGAIN. THIS WAS 7 YEARS AGO. I NOW HAVE EXCESS PRESSURE BEHIND MY EYES THAT MY EYE DOCTOR IS CONCERNED ABOUT BECAUSE IT ISN’T GLAUCOMA RELATED SHE THINKS IT’S BRAIN RELATED. I CAN’T SAY IT ENOUGH. ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF. ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF!!!!! IF YOU CAN’T, FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN!!!

Back on topic. I have Bipolar Disorder, I am Bipolar, I have a problem with alcohol, I am an alcoholic. There is no cure in the immediate future for either one of these. Yes you can take a pill that makes you violently ill if you drink alcohol. The problem is I know many who have gone on to drink anyway only to land in the ICU. If you want it bad enough, you will find a way. The other thing is with some of that medication, if you even wear too much perfume, the alcohol content in the perfume can permeate your skin and you can have a reaction. I just don’t think it’s worth it.

I like that my Psychiatrist says I’m in “Remission” from Alcohol. Or if I am stable with my meds I’m in a “Remission” phase with my Bipolar Disorder. I am not cured. I will never be cured. And I don’t think that’s being negative. I think that’s accepting some things I can’t control and learning to deal with it the best I can. There is so much pressure put on me from my family to “get better”. I forget if it was my dad or sister who asked “Why are you not better?” I won’t lie, it hurt to hear that. People forget Ihave coexisting conditions that act like a Domino Effect. I’ll have a Celiac attack which attacks my joints, muscles, brain, cognitive skills, and stomach. This causes a UTI and problems with my stents working. Then I have a problem absorbing my Bipolar Medications, which may or may not have GLUTEN in them, because my 1 kidney is having problems due to the UTI I got from somehow coming into contact with Gluten. Generic medications are not strictly monitored by the FDA and still mostly use Gluten as a binder or filler. The problem is the company will not admit it.

My Pharmacy has admitted to at least one company I was having problems with using Gluten. They let me change Generics only because of my Kidney Failure and the complications. I had to jump through hoops with Medicare.

There was a band on Live with Kelly this morning. The lead singer had been diagnosed with MS. His Doctor had put him on medication. The medication had side effects, including seizures. He stopped the medication and looked for a “Holistic” approach. He says he’s never felt better and doesn’t believe in medications.

This is ONLY WHAT I BELIEVE. Many people are misdiagnosed with MS and Parkinson’s Disease. My aunt was with MS and I was with Parkinson’s. Half the time Lyme Disease presents very much like MS. Without a MRI and Spinal Tap a Doctor can’t properly confirm or deny a diagnosis. I didn’t have Parkinson’s. I was diagnosed with Essential Tremors and then diagnosed with Conversion Disorder. Essential Tremors are Genetic. I knew of no one in my family that had them. Recently my father has developed them. It’s possible I have Essential Tremors with the Conversion Disorder. My dad’s dad passed away before he reached the age that they usually present. So he didn’t know. Mine would have been triggered early by the Conversion Disorder. There really is nothing you can do about them.

I seem to have an extreme reaction to those who have a platform that reaches thousands of people and they then use it to misinform or push an agenda that isn’t supported scientifically. Humans that are in pain, isolated, suffering, and desperate, will look for anything or any way to make that go away. To give false hope, whether it’s candles, pot, Chakras, whatever, is wrong in so many ways. I am offended that anyone would think that because I have a mental illness I am gullible or unintelligent.

I will never be “cured” of my alcoholism, Bipolar Disorder, Celiac Disease,or Kidney Disease. I can try to manage all of them to the best of my ability. I try to make sure that I don’t endanger myself or anyone else along the way. That is all I can do. I don’t lie to anyone about a cure or quick fix. It’s hard enough waking up everyday and hearing those closest to me lie. I won’t do it here.

 

 

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