Have you ever felt so alone you sometimes wondered if you were invisible? Have you ever had such and ache in your chest but didn’t know why? An ache like you lost someone, or you are lost and you just WANT TO GO HOME! The problem is you are home. Have you ever wanted to get on the next plane to anywhere? Get in your car and just leave? But you’re afraid no one would even notice. Have you ever begged someone to just hug you?? I begged my sister to tell me everything would be ok and to hug me. She wouldn’t. She said she wouldn’t “Enable my behavior”. I would’ve called it a human kindness. She has been to my house twice in the last 2 months. No help like she had promised she would do. Everything is on me again. Right now my father has rented a machine to turn up the soil in the front yard. He’s been working outside in the heat since he got back from dialysis at 10:30 a.m. it’s now 1:10 p.m. he has a fracture in his back, low platelets, a UTI, edema, a few heart problems including a quadruple bypass and his aortic aneurism is leaking. I’m done being yelled at and treated like crap by a 73 year old who obviously wants to die. He has said he wants to be with my mom. I am stressed to the limit. Medications are not working, I have no support, no one to talk to. I’m becoming meaner and meaner. It’s time for a break. I can’t startle every time I hear my dad yell at me. Now this has carried over to every time I hear a loud male voice near me. This is no way to live. He’s having another surgery soon which I’ll have to take care of him after. Too much.