Recently I have felt the need to reach out to my mom’s side of the family. Specifically one of her sisters. My Aunt spent a lot of time at our house and I spent a lot of time with her. I love her very much. When she decided to move back to Florida my mother’s health took a turn for the worse. She felt she had lost her best friend and kind of gave up. She spent most of her time in her room. She would come down to make herself a pile of bologna sandwiches and go back to her room. She had heart problems and wasn’t supposed to be eating like that. She also had Diabetes and would stash candy in her room. Nothing we did or said could get her out of her Depression. She soon went into Congestive Heart Failure and passed away.
When I try to call my Aunt it goes to voice mail and the box is always full. She never calls back. I know she has her own life to live but she was the second closest thing to a mom for me. Since my Bipolar diagnosis my phone calls are not returned by any of my mom’s family. This is odd considering most of them have mental health issues or alcohol addiction themselves or in their own families. But they have always been the type to bury their heads in the sand.
I think they are afraid that I want to visit. I mentioned a trip to Florida on Facebook. I wouldn’t have asked to stay with any of them and where I was going wasn’t really near any of them. It hurts when people you love turn away from you. I have a lot on my plate right now. Taking care of my father and my own health issues has left me exhausted. I can’t really afford a vacation anyway but still.
I think because my health problems are serious I feel the need to connect. I wish they would let me.