HE

He wasn’t sure he wanted me and disappeared for awhile.

He changed his mind and never left again.

He drank too much and hurt the people around him.

He quit for us when she asked him to.

He worked 50 hours of back breaking work a week to put food on the table.

He gave me Rollo candy and “foot” rides everyday after work.

He watched me become quieter.

He watched as I slowly tried to destroy myself with alcohol.

He stood by as the ambulance would take me away for the 3rd, 4th, time.

He would stand there as his heart was breaking not knowing what to say.

He would watch Tv and Movies with me to keep me sane.

He would lose his best friend and withdraw himself.

He didn’t see as I went back to my old ways.

He was too late to save the day.

He loved me so much he did everything. I couldn’t take his pain anymore.

He held me in his arms the other day and cried.

He held me tight as I cried too.

He said “I love you, you’re my little girl”.

I said “I love you too Dad, no matter what. I love you too”.

 

I’ll be writing a post explaining some of this. My father is a complicated and interesting man.

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About darie73

I have lived with Bipolar Disorder since my early teens. I have lived with Social Anxiety Disorder for even longer. I self-medicated with alcohol for over 20 years, that's how long it took to get a diagnosis. I'm open and honest about my mental health so hopefully one day the system will change. View all posts by darie73

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