Hypocrites, Idiots, and Strawberry Wine

I’ll start by saying I’m a hypocrite at times. Or maybe too judgmental. I was watching a reality show and the woman on it was crying like they always do. She was crying because she was an alcoholic. She was drinking too much wine.

I am ashamed to say it but I laughed. I thought “Lady you wouldn’t know a real wino if one bit you on your Chanel ass.” See? Judgment and hypocritical. So many people didn’t believe I was an alcoholic. I am an alcoholic. To the outside world I came from a nice middleclass family. I was polite and quiet. That’s because I went 2 or 3 towns over to do my drinking so no one would know me. They didn’t see the “real” me that came out at night. It was like living a double life.

One night I stayed late at my favorite dive bar talking to the wife of a member of the band, when I looked up I saw my uncle mopping the floor. That wasn’t supposed to happen. The 2 worlds were not to meet. But I was plastered so what could I do except make an ass out of myself. They had just put my mother in a coma that day and I handled the news the way I handled everything. I drank. The Wylde’s were good people to a total mess of a person. It was a good thing that there were a few people like this along the way because I got myself in some pretty bad situations.

Anyway, I’ve also seen my share of heavy wine drinkers. They get a bluish/purple stain on their teeth and sometimes tongue and lips. They hide it well because wine is considered acceptable with lunch and dinner making it easy to hide HOW MUCH you’re drinking. But the woman on the “reality show” showed no signs of addiction at all. It was a low budget show looking for viewers. Unfortunately drama brings people in. Look at Celebrity Rehab. How many of those poor people actually made it? I couldn’t watch.

On to the Idiot portion. I don’t like name calling but it’s to make a point.

The Lord My Savior Jesus Christ will not cure BIPOLAR DISORDER.

GOD will not SAVE ME FROM BIPOLAR DISORDER’S DEMONS.

CHURCH is not going to HELP ME WITH ANY HEALTH ISSUES.

I ask nicely at first to stop. I ask nicely the second time to please refrain.

The THIRD TIME IS WHEN I TELL THE TRUTH.

I am a Sober Bipolar Atheist. I’m sorry if that offends some people but it also offends me to constantly have something shoved down my throat that I do not agree with. Maybe Atheist is the wrong word. I do not believe in going to a designated building to listen to a man speak and then putting money in a collection plate. I believe in Evolution. I believe in things I can see. I believe Religion has killed more people over time than any plague or disease. I believe you should be able to love with freedom as long as they are of age. To quote the great Dr. House “Everybody lies”. There is proof of this in the basement of the Vatican. There was a movie with Gabriel Byrne that had a Bonus Disc about the Vatican that was quite interesting. Everyone is free to choose what they believe in. What they are not allowed to do is infringe on my rights to stay calm and somewhat private on these matters. There is a Stigma attached to saying you are an Atheist. People get confused and conjure up images of Anton LaVey. That would be Satanist. Totally different. Lately many people have spoken to me about going to church. I have just smiled and kept my mouth shut. How many times am I expected to do this? I hate doing it. But I know if I open my mouth with anything close to the truth it will cause a shitstorm.

Don’t ask where the Strawberry Wine comes in. I just thought it sounded funny. I used to drink Boone’s Strawberry Hill Wine when I was 17 until I drank too many bottles and was violently ill. Never touched it again. Sometimes when it slips out what I used to drink my brother in law will say “You know you drank like a homeless person?”. Says the person who told me to bring Black Label to parties because no one would steal them. Kingers even. How soon they forget.

I know I’m going back and forth. I apologize.

When I happened to mention to my ex sister in law that I was an Atheist her response was “No you’re not. I don’t believe that. You’re just confused.” This was 3 years ago and I’ve had to tell her several more times because she keeps sending me religious stuff. It doesn’t sink in.

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