The days where the aching pain, grief and loneliness get me are so bad I can’t describe them. I’m filled with guilt and tears, shame and regret. I want something to comfort me. I tried to hold the Papillon but he didn’t go for it. I put my head next to my laptop while Johnny Cash sang Hurt and cried. Nothing to comfort me. Before Pookie would be there to curl up with me. Now it’s a nasty look from my father as he leaves me and I sit alone again wishing for something or someone to help me or release me.