All of a sudden I feel extremely annoyed and agitated. I dislike everything. I would normally say hate but I’m trying to use that word less. It loses it’s meaning the more it’s used. Just like the F word. I don’t use it often. My father doesn’t either. When you hear him say it you know to start running because it means something serious is going on. He has a deep voice that could rattle the windows. When we were younger and did something stupid all we had to do is hear the beginning of his deep voice saying “Woa!” and we were out of there. He never, ever, hit us. Not once. It was just the voice. I still have problems with it even at 42. He has a problem with my being Bipolar or any Mental Health problems I have. He doesn’t like to discuss it.
Doctors who act put out because they didn’t give you enough refills of your prescription to last until your next visit. Now you have to call their office along with your pharmacy because no one is responding and you have not had 2 of your meds for 2 days. I do love a run on sentence.
Doctors who fudge their records. There was no way you gave me 70 minutes of Psychotherapy unless it came with Hypnotherapy and I don’t remember.
I also never spent over an hour with my primary care physician unless she counts the time I sit alone in the room waiting for her which is usually an hour. Her actual face time with me is 15 minutes.
A rather large pet peeve of mine is feeling dismissed or like I’m treated differently when a person who I perceive as having “power” or being “above” me finds out that I’m diagnosed Bipolar or even a recovering alcoholic. This happens often and more times than not I am told that I’m imagining it. I’m not. Surprisingly the people who do it the most are Doctors. What a “in your face moment” it was to have my sister witness it first hand 2 times. Did it change her behavior towards me? No.
I also don’t like people cutting me off or walking away when I’m speaking. It’s demeaning and rude. Do you know what it takes for me to speak? I have to go over in my head what I’m going to say 3 or 4 times. I have to try and find the right words and calm down enough so my stutter isn’t noticeable. All of this makes my thought process appear slower to people on the outside. And when I do finally get my turn no one listens.
I’ve tried to speak to 2 people today. Neither wanted to engage. I sometimes talk too much to the people who work at stores I go to. I then sit in my car and cry. I feel bad because they had to listen to “the crazy lady” talk because it’s part of their job. And I think how pathetic am I? I’m off to look at animal pictures or do some jewelry. I just got in trouble because my feathers got knocked over and Daisy the Pomeranian was rolling around in them. I found it funny but I can’t use them now because Daisy is slobbery. Not her fault I don’t think she’s 100% Pom.see?